I miss you too...

The other night we were listening to the 80s music station on the TV,and I don't have to say how awesome it was..it's a given...all the greats were singing..Cyndi Lauper, Lionel Richie, and the late great MJ...songs I haven't heard in years like the Ghostbusters theme, and Careless Whisper by Wham!...All of this completely took me back to my childhood...not always with a memory...sometimes just a feeling...and you can't even put your finger on it..all you can do is feel it...it usually last the whole song and after it ends you just go "wow"....well this evening I had a stronger reaction than otherwise expected...we were in the bedroom changing bubs when I heard what I thought was a familiar song..I left Dan to finish up and I went to listen to it... It was the song "I can dream about you"...now this song is clearly a love song about a man who can't be with the one he loves..but knows he can still be with her in his dreams if no where else...but as a child...upon hearing the chorus of the song I forever connected it with my pop pop...he as the time had just died maybe a year or so when I heard it for the first time..I remember telling my mom that it reminds me of him because even though he's gone...I would be able to see him when I dreamt....ok ok so I didn't use the word "dreamt" as 6 year old..but whatever it's my blog and I'll write what I want lol....so anyway here I was 29 years old...my pop pop was been gone 23 years..and I'm sitting on the couch ..eyes closed...tearing up almost able to feel the bedspread I was laying on when I made this connection 23 years ago...as the song ended I searched YouTube for another song...one that I made an even stronger attachment regarding the loss of my grandfather...
"Somewhere Out There"..I,as many of you, first heard this song in the movie, "American Tail" with the cute little mouse that gets separated from his family...all I have to do is hear the first chord of this song and I'm crying... right then and there it reminded me how much I missed him and how much HE is missing by not being here...just like he was the first person, besides my parents, to see me in the hospital when I was born...I KNOW he would have flown up here when he knew Evan was on his way...so I'm thinking about all of this quietly sobbing at the computer just waiting for Dan and Evan to walk in and see mommy as a complete mess...it's amazing what songs can do...they bring back the rawest of feelings no matter how longs it's been...
They say that when a loved one who has past away wants to say hi..they do something or cause something to happen so we think of them..well I guess pop pop not only wanted to say hi that night...but wanted to give me a big hug and kiss....well...I miss you too...=o) <3 <3 <3